Sunday, February 26, 2012

My Letters to God

Sometime in 2003 I started a series of letters to GOD. I would sit at my computer and write whatever was on my mind from time to time. Just as a release for the most part. GOD is my friend. The only friend that I can truly say knows all of my secrets, because Ive asked for forgiveness alot in these letters. Don't judge me:)

Furthermore, I haven't written one in a few years, especially after my computer was stolen. Now that I feel I need to get back to releasing things directly to the source, Im going to do it this way. Here we go:

February 26, 2012

As the days pass, I realize that my life is really starting to blossom. For the most part , I can honestly say that Im happy but there are still some areas that I can’t help but get emotional about. A lot of things have been revealed to me, some for the good and some bad. I feel that now is the time to continue to release. Release thoughts, feelings and more importantly people. Everyone is not your cheerleader. Most of the people that I thought would be rooting for me, I can’t even hear on the sidelines period.

“The silent messages that I receive are the ones that mean the most to me.” Sometimes I find it strange how I can walk into a room and feel the thoughts. I mean I can honestly feel how people feel about me as if they are speaking directly to me. This is weird I know but I’m glad for the gift.

One of things that was hardest to let go of finally hurt me enough to let go. The memories are still there which get me through most of my days but its hard as well.

My life at this point is good. I’m moving forward. DJ’s moving forward. We’re moving forward and Im praying that this cycle of my life continues.

The sun shines brightly everyday.

Sometimes it’s so bright I can’t see.These are the days I find myself thinking a lot.Thinking a lot about my life and what will become of me. One morning as we walked outside at 7:15 a.m. the moon was still out,

D.J. screamed “Hey, it’s morningtime! You’re not supposed to be there.”

I looked up at the full moon and said,” What?”

He said “Mommy, it’s morningtime. The moon is not supposed to be there.”

I laughed and said you’re right. That day as I shared my story with everyone that I encountered, most of the replies were”Wow. He’s smart.” I smiled and said “yeah, thats my DJ.”

That’s kind of how I feel about my life. “Wow. How did I get here?” I guess my hard work and dedication has finally paid off.

The month of January was so pleasant yet stressful. I was moving so much that I stopped paying attention to the days. A lady at my office said that’s what happens when you’re “famous” you don’t stop moving. I still laugh at the comment because, I’m not famous but its always nice when people see star quality in you.

I’m rambling on I know. But I’m happy.Happy with the moments. Happy that my life has started with GOD as the center and coach of my days.

Its funny how life happens, who would have thought that Erica the girl that loved “music” so much wouldn’t know the words to any of the popular songs. Instead my head is now filled with songs of praise and worship throughout the day. I now reference bible verses when I need guidance. It was only less than a year ago that I prayed to allow my mind to be receptive to the word and teachings of the bible.

Thank God I’m healed and delivered. Things that once meant so much have little to no more meaning. I’m still praying though. Praying daily for my life.

Tonight when DJ called me to say his prayers with him, he said mommy don’t say it, I can say them by myself. And he did. I love my son with all my heart. That’s something that I will continue to be proud of everyday. I made the right choice. Praise God.

Grateful to be enabled. Erica Coleman © 2012

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