Tuesday, February 23, 2016
So I met this awesome guy of which I got close to really fast. Every day became a happy day for me just because he wanted to make me smile. He made me feel special and I wanted to make him feel the same way in return. we talked about life together and what we both wanted in our future. He wanted to get married and have a child. I wanted the same thing just as long as it was before I turn 35 lol. I wanted a new home for my family. He said he was willing to provide that for me.
We are both entrepreneurs and business owners so we have a great understanding of each others lives. We enjoyed each others company so we spent a lot of our free time together. At this point, I considered him a match and was looking forward to our future together. I mean everything was great until.......
I decided that I needed a night out with my friends. We decided that we were going to a party and I decided not to invite him. However, one of his friends called him later and invited him to come out to the same party. Everything was still fine until someone whom seemed very fond of my guy showed up and decided that she didn't want to hide how fond she was of him.
Now in my past life :) I was a very protective, territorial girl friend. No other woman bet not touch my man but this new angelic holy ghost filled Woman said let it slide for a little while because you know that he's here for you.
So as the night went on those 2 very fond and friendly people must have decided that the people that they were with at the party were just not that important because they made their way to the dance floor with their "companions" left on the side lines to watch them continue to be friendly with each other.
I stood there for a brief moment thinking to myself, Ashton Kutcher better hop from behind one of these fancy couches and say Erica we were just testing you. You passed the patient lady, do all good things in the sight of others test. But when I noticed that he wasn't coming I surely made my way over there and snatched him off the dance floors and gave him that stern I'm gonna get you sucker look. Hahaha Y'all didn't I was just gonna let that pass did you. My Taurus personality traits wouldn't let me do it. However, I didn't make a huge scene at all. I just couldn't let myself get all worked up in my new fancy one of a kind dress that I had picked out just for this occasion.
Furthermore, I was very disturbed and honestly hurt. I just couldn't believe that the man that I had shared so much time with over the last 2 months would have done this to me. Wasn't he the same guy that declared to me that we were in a committed relationship and no longer dating. Wasn't this the same guy that said he only wanted to make me smile. Wasn't this the same guy that I talked about a future with. I was so disappointed.
From that moment on I started to look at him differently. Maybe, he was just putting on a show for me. Maybe he's one of those womanizers that woo you and then wound you. Maybe he didn't really mean all those nice things he said about me because I would have never disrespected him like that. Point blank period.
My veil came off and then I started to pay more attention to all the things I didn't want to deal with instead of all the nice things he was dong for me.
This wasn't the first time a man had attempted to disrespect me in this manner and I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be the last. But I wanted it to be the last because I couldn't take much more.
After talking it out I decided to give him another chance. My heart was still questioning his devotion the whole time.
Do you really feel like dealing with this kind of man again?
Do you really think he's the one for you?
Can you deal with this happening in your future?
Is he the One for you?
All of these thoughts just continued to repeat over and over again in my mind. Is he the One for you? At that point I started to enter his name into my prayers. Asking God for guidance and a sense of direction. I was hurt and we hadn't even said I love you...... To be continued It's Me Erica C 2016
Monday, February 4, 2013
Monday, September 24, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
April 4, 2012
The Second Chance
Ohhh If only I could tell you about all of my Second Chances,
You would be like wow.
Where Im always like How?
My God is amazing.
I’ve been delivered from some of the darkest places, moments
My “second chances” were all learning experiences.
I always knew that I was doing something that I wasn’t
supposed to be doing but like any other
human I kept right on doing it.
However, I am a firm believer of once you receive punishment
for doing something wrong once, the only
thing left for you to do is to stop doing it.
As I shrug my shoulders and shake my head thinking of those
times I’m laughing at the same time.
Who knew. He knew. He knows all things.
He is the Manufacturer of Beautiful and Great things. He
knows that his products will have moments of malfunction, despair and multiple
breakdowns. That’s exactly why he creates a repairman for all of us.
As I think of my son right now when he’s intentionally done something wrong and I ask him why did
you do that? His reply is usually “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I did. I’m sorry ”
I don’t even if he knows that he is always admitting his faults and
asking for a second chance.
I don’t about you but Im so thankful and grateful for
second chances. I honestly don’t know
what my life would be like without them. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for forgiving me again and again. Thank you for
giving me all those second chances. I want you to know that my downtime allowed
me to be a little more appreciative of all the things that you have given me on
purpose. I want you to know that during my rehabilitation, I made promises to
you to not repeat those actions that were unlike you God. I want you to know
that I value you and respect you for giving me all those second chances. Thank
you Lord. Thank you Jesus. Thank you . Thank you again for allowing me another
chance to live my life on Purpose and according to your will. Thank you. Erica
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Inspired by Whitney
Today as I watched Whitney Houstons' funeral I kept thinking Wow.
I wonder what people will say about me.
Ever since I was a little girl people would find little things to say about me,
Oh she’s this or oh she’s gonna be that
Oh don’t let me forget the fact that I was skinny, dressed crazy and oh yeah too black.
It wasn’t until I reached a certain age that I began to see beautiful faces of people that looked just liked me
And one of those beautiful faces just so happened to be the beautiful brown skin, nappy, curly haired Whitney.
She was on the cover of a magazine with that beautiful smile with red lip stick, a polka dot skirt and that thing she wore in her hair in the 80s and skinny.
I don’t remember exactly what I said but I found myself thinking Wow. That’s just like me.
I liked polka dots and I was skinny and brown skinned too.
Whitney was the reason I asked for the spiral curled ponytail on top of my nappy hair.
She may have been the inspiration behind me choosing to wear the red and white polka dot skirt with the white shirt in my fifth grade photos.
I know for a fact she was the inspiration behind me wanting to be a model, inside someone’s magazine.
Watching Whitney in the Bodyguard, I wanted to beautiful just like her. I wanted to be on TV one day but I knew I couldn’t sing. I tried my best to hit the high notes like Whitney as a child but God didn’t bless me with that talent.
But it wasn’t until today, that I realized all of the things I adored about Whitney and all of the things I said I wanted to do to be like her, a beautiful brown skinned face just like mine, Have come to pass. Praise God.
I have been that girl inside of magazines, with red lip stick too might I add, I’ve been on the TV screen as a model and I’ve been told that I’ve inspired others through my talents.
Even though my talent hasn’t been displayed as largely as Whitney, I’m still thankful and grateful that I can say, I’ve lived and am currently living my dreams. Thank you Whitney. For inspiring me.
I believe that today, even laying in your casket, you’ve inspired me and that’s to keep moving forward with my dreams so that the legacy I leave for my son and my family will be great and I wont have to wonder what they’ll say about me.
Rest in Peace Whitney. Thank you again for inspiring Me
Erica Coleman ©2012