Thursday, January 20, 2011

WHY? The question everyone wants to know the answer to.....

“God you said you’d always be here for me. I’ve been spending all my time praying and asking you guidance and this is how you repay me. How dare you make a believer out of me! How dare you allow me to praise you daily when I could have been leading myself. I can’t believe you allowed me to do this.
I can’t believe you. How can I ever trust in you again. From now on when I am in need it will not be your name that I will call. I promise you that I will seek guidance from within and since you are no longer a part of me. I’ll lead me. I’ll trust me. I’ll do me regardless. We are no longer one. I don’t know you and you never knew me. I..I…I hate you!” –passage from “How dare you make a believer out of me?” by Erica Coleman ©2010

Everyday we are faced with different challenges in which we look to others for help, advice and sometimes compassion. Have you ever thought about how life would be without people? Without a higher power in which you put all your trust and beliefs in?

Today I asked my family and friends to assist me with coming up with a new blog idea. I asked them to send me 3 words or topics that I would be able to write about. In doing so my mom sent me these 3 words : betrayal, loyalty, power.

Have you ever thought about the decisions that you make affecting those around you? Well if you are a member of a family that loves you, respects you and believes in you as a person you would think that one would always keep their families best interest at heart. You would think that if not but to uphold your families name you would do GREAT things to keep your foundation solid.

However, we were all created as individuals in which the decisions we make are usually very selfish. We tend to think more about the “me” factor versus we. In doing so, others get hurt both knowingly and unknowingly.

The character from the passage above was faced with a decision in which she chose to use her power as a women to seduce a man that she was very attracted to. This man never acknowledged her presence. Never pursued her in any kind of way. But she decided that she wanted him and would use everything in her power to get him. She spent months lusting after him until one day he decided to give in to her pursuit and go out to dinner with her. After dinner she wanted him in her bed so bad that she was willing to do whatever it took to get him there. Needless to say he agreed.

Six months later at her annual checkup she found out that she had AIDS. Filled with shock and disbelief she left the doctor’s office and never uttered another word about the information that she had been given.

After several months of being in denial she decided that she wanted to do something about it. She was going to strike hard and fast. She no longer had a good reason to live. She felt that everything that she had earned at this point in her life meant nothing. She didn’t care about her family or friends. What would they think if they knew the truth?

With nothing to lose, she set out to destroy other families, hopes, dreams and lives. Blaming all of her problems on people and GOD.

Why are we as human beings so quick to blame everyone but ourselves?
Why is that when we are faced with challenges and the outcome isn’t favorable we choose to duck and run?
Why is it so hard to live a good life in today’s society without being victimized?
Why do people question God whenever something in life doesn’t work in their favor?

If you know Why please share your answers with me?

Today has been a very frustrating day filled with lots of Why’s for me. But I wanted to write something real and true. Sorry if this offends you.

Alex not Plastic ©2011

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Learning to Kiss isn't always blissful...Kissing ain't for everybody

Learning how to kiss is not always blissful
It’s all in the kiss... What does this really mean?
I can remember my first real tongue kiss being the grossest, nastiest thing ever. I was in the 8th grade and his name was Lester. Lester was really cute and had several girls interested in him at the time but for some reason he chose me. I was a little shy back then but hey he was my boyfriend. I had a few boyfriends before him that I would peck on the lips and cheek, but nothing close to what I felt after kissing him.
Lester was a little more advanced than me. He told me that he had kissed a girl before so he knew what he was doing. The night before the “big kiss” we made plans to meet right before sixth hour by the front hall lockers. I was so scared. But at the same time I was so ready to experience what my sister and friends were all talking about.
Right after the 5th period bell rang I slowly walked towards the lockers and I didn’t see him anywhere. I waited for two minutes and then decided to head to class. Right as I was about to turn down the 8th grade hallway, he grabbed me and turned me towards him. I smiled and then out of nowhere he opened his mouth and proceeded to slob all over my mouth. I was totally shocked at how he didn’t notice my mouth was not open. He walked away smiling. I stood in the middle of the hall shocked and trying to wipe all the slobber from my mouth just as the bell for 6th period rang.
When I told my friend that we kissed, she immediately asked me if it was good. I just shrugged my shoulders because I didn’t want to tell her my first kiss was terrible. She proceeded to ask me if I had closed my eyes. I told her no. She laughed and told me that I was supposed to close my eyes and it would feel good.
Eyes open or closed I knew that there was no way that that kiss was going to feel good to me.
Nevertheless, I never kissed Lester again and continued to peck on the lips and cheek where I felt safe.
That kiss ruined my connection with other “boyfriends” well into my late teen years. I would periodically close my eyes and open my mouth. But I couldn’t help but think that my partners would slob on me. I also feared sticking my tongue in their mouth because I didn’t know what to do with it.
Don’t get me wrong I had a couple of ok kissers in between but I never felt a connection when kissing anyone and it may be because I didn’t have my eyes closed or the real spark was never there.
It wasn’t until I was 24 that someone told me that I was not a good kisser. He even tried to teach me. I can remember standing in the hallway and him telling me to keep my mouth open and just go with the flow. He teased me from time to time and told me that I was giving grandma kisses before.
Now for a girl that thought she was hot stuff I knew I would have to conquer this one day.
Unfortunately, the next guy I ran into thought that just sticking his tongue in my mouth was enough! OMG. What a mistake? I realized that this not going to help me conquer my kissing expertise. However, I didn’t shy away I decided that we both needed help so we could practice together.
Eventually, I was the only one practicing, he went back to sticking his tongue pointlessly in mouth and I began to shy away from kissing him altogether.
Now here I am going close to 30 and still hadn’t learned to kiss. UNTIL……..
I met him, first date, first kiss nothing but sparks. I absolutely love kissing him. He was surprised when I told him I was not a kisser. He said that I was a great kisser. The first date we just couldn’t stop kissing. I enjoyed him with my eyes closed, open and even looking into his eyes with no fear.
Now I know many of you would say first date, that’s nasty as I have said it many times before. But if the spark is there it’s there. And I’d been waiting almost 15 years to get it right!
One day while visiting my hairstylist, she noticed that I had a “new bounce”. She asked me if I had something new in my life and I said “Girrlll yes!” She proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions about him and I replied saying nice things of course. Then she asked me about the kiss. At first I raised my eyebrows thinking , “Why is she asking me about this? Has she kissed my boo?” Just kdding.
She asked me if it made me feel tingly inside and below. I immediately said yes, while having flashbacks.
She said that if you kiss a man and he makes you “tingle” then he’s the one for you. I took this tidbit of advice and decided to use it later on that day.
When I did, I got the “tingly” feeling all over again. And my god it is so addictive.
So today after reading an article about kissing and the different meanings and signals it has in a relationship. I decided to write this blog to ask you a few questions and to also be a little noisy and ask about your kissing experiences.
1. Do you believe that kissing has any barrier in a relationship?
2. What does kissing mean to you?
3. Do you believe a relationship can survive without kissing?
4. Share your first/worst or crazy kissing experiences.
Alex not Plastic E.C. ©2011