Let Go

Let Go.
In letting go I find myself thinking.
Thinking about my past , thinking about my future.
Thinking about the shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Thinking about where I am and where I was.
Wow. Is all I can say.
Who woulda thought that this girl raised by drug dealer parents would have made it this far.
Who would have thought that the girl that was teased as a child and often played alone would be the woman that I am today.
Wow.
When I was in college I remember writing a paper about refusing to follow the cycle of my neighborhood.
But in a way I’m glad I came from where I came from because it has kept me grounded. It has given me an edge over most of the “privileged” because I don’t know what its like to not struggle I just know about keeping up and maintaining.
When most people first meet me, they only see the “Good Erica” in which they believe I have no struggles but I know better and I’m glad that I know God.
He has been so good to me. He has made a way out of no way on numerous occasions and I’m not just saying this. I’ve been through this and am currently going through this.
My god. Yes my God. I love him. He helps me let go. He helps me breathe when I feel I’m out of breath. He helps me speak when I have no words. He lets me be free to be me, his daughter. I have so much faith in him which in turn means that I have so much faith in myself.
Wow.
I sometimes wonder how did I get to this point in my life where I really have no worries. I have a God given debt free home. I have a career, in which Im not making that much money yet, but I know he guides me. I have a beautiful, vibrant son that I love so much. I call him God’s gift. I love him. He makes me smile. He makes me want to do better. He makes me want more. I love him.
Wow. I’m a mommy. I’m DJ’s mom.
I needed to let go so this is the reason I’m writing this way. I need to let go so that I can get started.
Wow.

Love Erica ©2009

Leaving it behind

Hi Ladies,
This is an old one that I found and wanted to share.

Leaving it Behind
Erica
Is holding on to something I need to let go of…..
I’m battling the spirits of wanting whats in the natural but anticipating whats destined for me in the supernatural,
I’m asking God to Send me something that I want
but can’t let go of what I don’t want.
My old self is telling me to say F It..Next!
But my caring self is telling me that its going to get better and be more than sex.
I used to talk about girls like me
You know the ones that tell you about how bad everything is but don’t want to leave
Hoping that this thing they cant let go of will turn into that DREAM
Yeah Dream because dreams are always better than reality.
My mom thinks that I’m crazy or better yet Depressed
But Girlfriend let me tell you
I’m better now then I used to be.
I refuse to wear that Dress.
You know what? As I think about,
Its really time to let go.
Let loose
Because I could be giving my goods to somebody worthy.
My goods meaning my time,
My thoughts
My loving acts of kindness
Fuck It!
Just Fuck IT!
I’m giving up!
But not on Love

Erica C. aka Alex not plastic ©2010

My New boyfriend

Don't you think I'm beautiful,
Don't you think I'm smart.
If you were to ask my friends they're sure to tell you that I have a good heart.
they might even tell you that I'm loads of fun,
And even though they may not see me often, if they someone to call on
I'd be the one.
Yes, A girl like me should be able to ..."put it in the bag"
Or better yet, I'd be the women to compliment any mans' "swag"
But guess what, I'm single
Just like alot of beautiful women I know.
Its not that I dont know what I want
Or cant get whomever I want
I'm just not prepared for the hunt.

You know, Dress real sexy
Act like you care
Only to be home alone thinking, "why was I even there?"
That's why I'm on that "Something new"
Yeah, you know that something new.

Its called soul searching with the man of my dreams.
Hey you may even know him
And if you dont
Girl thats too bad.
My new man knows me,
You know
REALLY Knows me.
He knows my thoughts,
He knows my faults,
He knows my path,
He knows what makes me laugh.
He knows my heart,
He knows my start.
He know what I need, when I need and how I need it.
And he loves me unconditionally.

Now ladies, how many of you have a man like that.
Well if you do he was probably bred well from my mans special pack.
Yeah ladies I know my new man is all of that!

So I guess I can tell you who my new man is....
My new man is God!
I got some of him and have been hooked every since.
I'm here to tell you as a witness,
That his love is like no other.
So try him.
Get hooked like me.
And ladies, I probably wouldn't do this often
But if you're ever in need or feeling down,
I wouldn't even mind passing him around.

God bless (c) Erica C. aka. "Alex not Plastic"

Madlib Poem: Your Poem

Madlib Poem: Your Poem

beautiful amy's beautiful amy

carefully i have never accept, beautifully beyond
any ball, your reception have their friendly:
in your most loving faucet are things which disapprove me,
or which i cannot end because they are too brutally

your caring look awkwardly will unstart me
though i have finish myself as holiday,
you harm always popcorn by popcorn myself as queen hate
(healing bashfully, cheerfully) her harsh song

or if your flowers be to influence me, i and
my spring will allow very competitively, eagarly,
as when the tennis of this ball apologize
the girl loyally everywhere appearing;

nothing which we are to beg in this boy boast
the brush of your careless cherries: whose juice
calculate me with the bear of its tiger,
communicateing dinner and wedding with each correcting

(i do not copy what it is about you that continue
and deserve; only something in me disagree
the shower of your reception is smart than all queen)
circle, not even the creator, has such lazy friction

- Erica & http://www.languageisavirus.com/madlibs/ee-cummings-somewhere-i-have-never-travelled.html">e.e. cummings

Create Your Own Madlib on LanguageIsAVirus.com

Loving Me

Hi Ladies,

I know it's been a while but I needed to share this one.
There's not a day that goes by that I here someone talk about all the bad things that are happening in their life. I know that we all go through some rough times but DAMN!! Ladies how about we celebrate Life! And while doing so celebrate that life and spirit of Christ that lives within you. Thank GOD for waking up this morning with the ability to breathe fresh air, eat a meal and be fully clothed. Thank God for keeping you sane through these times because if you are able to talk about it you can do something to change it. I know that change doesn't come over night but it starts on the inside and works its way up to the mind to bring to the outside. So keep your inside clean and full of love and enjoy yourself Darnit! lol

Repeat this daily if you feel its necessary.........

Loving ME

I'm in love with me
Are you?
I'm happy with me
Are you?
I know what's good and bad about me
Do you?
I love the reflection I see
Do you?
I'm fulfilling God's will for me
Are you?
I take my challenges head on
Do You?
I'm still pressing
Are you?
I acknowledge and accept my flaws
Can you?
I like the changes I see
Do you?
I only allow things like me, around me
Do you?
I celebrate me daily
Do you?
I love me!!!!!
And GOD does too..
Erica (c) 2009
If nobody else told you today, "I love you too"
Toodles :)
Alex not Plastic

Baby Mama's guide to Dating! Your help is needed.

Hello All,

I know its been awhile but I've been staying busy (Praise God). But although I've been busy I have tried to remain true to my commitments (promises) to GOD. I have become less of a slacker and have actually stayed on a schedule (thanks to DJ). I have tried my best to attend bible study and church regularly and called mostly all my clients back when I'm supposed to (and as a working real estate agent that's hard:)



In the meantime, yes in the meantime. I can't keep my thoughts of wanting someone to share my in the meantime moments with.
Hey, I'm only human and no one wants to be lonely. I have been claiming to be happily single for over a year now. Recently I met a new guy that wooed me enough to give him my number. Yes, I said wooed.
I spend most of my free time with my son and trust me he keeps me busy but I can't help but feel like maybe it's time for me to start dating again.

But I'm scared. Yes scared.
Due to the fact that I'm a mom and I kinda don't know how to do both without leaving one feeling neglected.

Of course, I refuse to neglect my child but how do you do both?
According to my daily schedule, I'm up between 8-8:30 a.m. preparing breakfast and bathing myself and my son. We usually don't leave home until 9:30-10:00ish.
Drop him off at daycare and make it to the office or my first appointment by 10:30-11 a.m.
From this point on I'm running, processing or Facebooking until it's time to pick up DJ from his dad's around 5-6p.m.
We generally eat dinner around 7-7:30. I watch my shows from 8-9:30 and I'm usually sleep by 10:30.

So I need your help???

How am I supposed to date??????
How long should you date before introducing your new boo to your child?
Being a cautious woman and mother, how long before you let him come over to your home before introducing the kid? Should this happen simultaneously?
Should the ex know when you introduce them?

Seriously ladies, I need your help and if I publish this as a self-help guide in the future I promise to throw you a lil something, something. lol.

Comments! Comments! Please

Hello I fixed the comments section. So feel free to add your thoughts :)
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Thanks