Pon de Replay......Past Hurt Still Hurts

It's been a long time since I was inspired to write a blog post but today as I sit in front of this computer my heart is full and warm at the same time. For most of you a full warm heart sounds good but for me I'm feeling both happy and sad. So let's just rewind to the last 60 days of my life.

So I met this awesome guy of which I got close to really fast.  Every day became a happy day for me just because he wanted to make me smile. He made me feel special and I wanted to make him feel the same way in return. we talked about life together and what we both wanted in our future. He wanted to get married and have a child. I wanted the same thing just as long as it was before I turn 35 lol. I wanted a new home for my family. He said he was willing to provide that for me.
We are both entrepreneurs and business owners so we have a great understanding of each others lives. We enjoyed each others company so we spent a lot of our free time together. At this point, I considered him a match and was looking forward to our future together. I mean everything was great until.......

I decided that I needed a night out with my friends. We decided that we were going to a party and I decided not to invite him. However, one of his friends called him later and invited him to come out to the same party. Everything was still fine until someone whom seemed very fond of my guy showed up and decided that she didn't want to hide how fond she was of him.

Now in my past life :) I was a very protective, territorial girl friend. No other woman bet not touch my man but this new angelic holy ghost filled Woman said let it slide for a little while because you know that he's here for you.

So as the night went on those 2 very fond and friendly people must have decided that the people that they were with at the party were just not that important because they made their way to the dance floor with their "companions" left on the side lines to watch them continue to be friendly with each other.

I stood there for a brief moment thinking to myself, Ashton Kutcher better hop from behind one of these fancy couches and say Erica we were just testing you. You passed the patient lady, do all good things in the sight of others test.  But when I noticed that he wasn't coming I surely made my way over there and snatched him off the dance floors and gave him that stern I'm gonna get you sucker look. Hahaha Y'all didn't I was just gonna let that pass did you. My Taurus personality traits wouldn't let me do it. However, I didn't make a huge scene at all. I just couldn't let myself get all worked up in my new fancy one of a kind dress that I had picked out just for this occasion.

Furthermore, I was very disturbed and honestly hurt. I just couldn't believe that the man that I had shared so much time with over the last 2 months would have done this to me. Wasn't he the same guy that declared to me that we were in a committed relationship and no longer dating. Wasn't this the same guy that said he only wanted to make me smile. Wasn't this the same guy that I talked about a future with.  I was so disappointed.
From that moment on I started to look at him differently. Maybe, he was just putting on a show for me. Maybe he's one of those womanizers that woo you and then wound you. Maybe he didn't really mean all those nice things he said about me because I would have never disrespected him like that. Point blank period.
My veil came off and then I started to pay more attention to all the things I didn't want to deal with instead of all the nice things he was dong for me.
This wasn't the first time a man had attempted to disrespect me in this manner and I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be the last. But I wanted it to be the last because I couldn't take much more.

After talking it out I decided to give him another chance. My heart was still questioning his devotion the whole time.

Do you really feel like dealing with this kind of man again?
Do you really think he's the one for you?
Can you deal with this happening in your future?
Is he the One for you?

All of these thoughts just continued to repeat over and over again in my mind.  Is he the One for you? At that point I started to enter his name into my prayers. Asking God for guidance and a sense of direction. I was hurt and we hadn't even said I love you...... To be continued It's Me Erica C 2016

My 7 Day Fast for Forgiveness and Favor

My 7  Day Fast of Forgiveness and Favor

“Let my Deliverance Be my testimony…So the people can see your Favor upon Me-“ Erica Coleman “Im Not Dying”

Hello World,

Last week sometime or maybe even the week before, as I was going about my daily prayer routine I kept hearing the word “fast”. I didn’t think much of it when I first heard it but the second and third time, I tried to remind myself to do some research to find out what this was all about. Sure, I’d heard people talk about fasting but I have never done this because to be honest I didn’t know what it was all about and couldn’t fathom the notion of me not eating or drinking for long periods of time. 

I’m what some may call a Baby Christian. I just started reading the Bible obsessively within the past 2 years and I still haven’t read half of it. But when I tell you my prayer life is on point. My prayer life is on point. I will pray anytime, anywhere and any place and I don’t care who’s looking. I often lock myself in my office most mornings in the dark to pray, I pray while I’m driving, I even pray when I see an accident on the side of the road. I pray when I watch the news. I even pray when I’m with my friends whenever I feel the need to pray.

So while I was praying last week or the week before, about the things that have been occurring in my life, I asked God to show me a way to make things better in my life. I asked God what have I done wrong because I could kind of feel some of my  favor slipping away. I asked God to reveal the promises that I know he has over my life. I asked God for help. And all I kept hearing was the word fast.

I learned a long time ago how important it is to listen when you pray. Your answers usually come in silent messages but you’ll miss them if you don’t listen closely.

So I decided to listen. On Wednesday, of last week I googled “How to Fast?” and after reading several articles I realized that I wasn’t alone. I found several responses of how others too were confused but through the confusion they decided to be obedient and go through with their fast.

I begin to write down my reasoning for going through with this fast and how I was going to do it. I need Spiritual renewal, guidance and more favor in my areas of confusion. I need the strength to endure and the wisdom to understand that I’m making a sacrifice now for a better future.  Furthermore, there are definitely some things that I am asking God for and believing that will receive it ALL after this sacrificial fast is over.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land”

During the next 7 days, I will be praying and asking God for forgiveness and favor over my life and yours. However, I’m a firm believer of asking for help when needed as you can see, so I’m asking you to join me in praying for me and my strength to endure,  as I pray for you.  Thank you in advance for your love and support.

 I love you. Erica

 

Today I'm Reading 2 Chronicles 7 "The Dedication of the Temple"

Why Can't you See What I see?....I think you're beautiful

Why can’t she see what I see?---I think you’re Beautiful

It’s hard being a woman. But today as I walked outside with the cold wind slapping me in my face with the sun shining, I found myself saying out loud, “I love being a woman.”

Not to brag, but there’s not a day that goes by that a man passes me by and says, “You’re beautiful, you look nice, hello miss, or excuse me your man must be happy, some even honk their horns. “While I find pleasure in this most of the time, I still find myself thinking I wonder if they can see what I see inside of me.

I’m single but trust that Im actually fine with that title especially after just hearing  from one of my dearest friends that I love so much tell me about how miserable she is in her marriage. This girl is Beautiful, if you were too see  her out and about you wouldn’t even know the hell that she goes through in her house daily. From the outside looking in their life appears to be perfect, two strikingly beautiful people with gorgeous kids, living in their dream home sharing their lives….Well that’s what she thought until he didn’t want the world to see his beautiful wife anymore.  As she said, “I feel like I lost myself Erica. This ain’t me. I’ve lost all of my friends. I’m not going to have anything once he’s gone.”

As a friend we always want to give advice because from the outside looking in we have the perfect solution.  And for this reason, I’ve always found myself wondering, “Why can’t she see what I see?”

On the other hand, here I am. Beautiful, smart, talented and single. Some of my friends don’t understand why I don’t have a man. I believe it’s because I’m not ready to “lose myself”or be so in love that I lose everything and everyone that I care about for one person.  Why cant they see what I see?

On the other hand, I have other friends that want a man so bad that they eagerly accept the first guy that says hello pretty lady. I’ve been there before but after I realized I was just wasting time, I let go of that bad habit just as quick as it started.  Again these are beautiful women with choices-why can’t they see what I see?

Just typing this reminds me of a praise and worship song that I love, There’s a King in you. It goes something like this, ‘Don’t you see the king in you? Then why do you speak with such insecurity, Do you know there’s a king in you?  then why do you speak with such defeat. '

Every day I listen to women talk about this and that in regards to wanting and needing a man. I’m glad I’m at a place where I can honestly say I’m fine because I am. I’m glad I realized that there’s one “man” that loves me more than I love myself and that man is Christ. And until I meet the man that has the same love for Christ as me, I’ll stay single.

So as I bow my head today, I’m praying for all my friends that ‘need a man or want a man so bad that they lose their self.”  I hope one day they can see what I see. And that is that you’re beautiful because there’s a King that lives right inside of you. My king wants the best for you. This is the only person that I’m willing to lose myself for. I don’t care what others think about me, I know the Cost of following Jesus. Connect to the spirit loves, so that YOU CAN, see what I see.   Love Erica ©2012

www.ericacoleman.com

 

5 Reasons Why I'm voting for Obama...Plant A Seed

Hello All of my Beautiful People,

This year I decided that I wanted to be a part of the Obama Action and GOT INVOLVED.  After signing up to become a part of the Young Detroiters for Obama Team, I sat down and thought about the reasons Why I wanted to volunteer my time and help the President Get reelected.  So about a month ago, I sat down and decided to write down the Five reasons Why I’m Voting for Obama!!

1.       His Word is Good!! How many other politicians do you know actually do what they say….He said he wanted to end the war. He did. He said he wanted to provide affordable if not free healthcare  for the people. He has. He said he would bring this country out of its current state of turmoil…It’s 2012 and the world is looking good from where I stand.

2.       He is a great reflection of ME and what it took to rise to the top… Determination, Hard Work, Faith, Good for the people, believes that Dreams can come true. The struggle of America in the “financial crisis” is very familiar to my lifestyle growing up. We knew what it was to not have enough and to go without. But we ALWAYS MADE A WAY and came out on TOP. America was trillions dollars in debt around the world, Obama has not only strengthened the American credibility around the world but he is making the money do what it needs to do, so that we may stay afloat!!  DO IT!!!

3.       He is not an I person, His stance has always been about WE!!!  I’m a We person too.  If we all come together on one accord great things can happen. We have a world to fix America!! And Obama is doing it with our HELP!!

4.       It’s more than skin Deep!! Yes Obama looks like me but his family values are more important than anything. Think about it, have you ever saw the love between any other presidential family as you see it with the Obama’s.  That means more than words can express in my book. If he can show his care for his family openly in the public eye all the time, it’s apparent that he will always be sincere about the struggles of others family. Women alone are still facing challenges in the workplace BUT OBAMA!  Found a way to make wages fair for working women and also provide a relief to those families that are struggling to pay for college. I know my mom was happy for all of the Pell Grants I received. I was able to graduate from college with less debt because of them.

5.       Who else is there to vote for? I mean really, I can’t relate to the man who has millions in his bank account and doesn’t know what it’s like to not have a mother with a flexible checkbook. I need to be able to look at my President and want to listen to him and look for words of encouragement not words or dialogue I can’t understand. I’m not ignorant by far, but not everyone speaks money language all the time.  I’m voting for Obama because I Believe that he CAN therefore WE all can!!

After watching The First Lady last night on my television screen as she talked about all the things that matter to the people my thoughts were  confirmed. Not only was I sold on getting  Obama reelected, but I was inspired to be more, do more and help out a little more.  Unfortunately, I haven’t been inspired by anyone on television lately but after watching the beautiful, intelligent First Lady Michelle Obama on my television something inside of me woke up and I was inspired to become something GREAT again.

This morning I asked my son if he wanted to be great, his response was Yes. I said Why. He said because you’re Great and my whole family is Great. I told him that he WILL BE GREAT! And I promise to do whatever it takes to achieve his Greatness status.

Plant some seeds today…Inspire others to become Great. Michelle Obama did J

Love Erica ©2012

I'll Fall on my Knees without hesitation

Today Lord I just want to say thank you. Thank you for my Life. Thank you for the ability to speak. Thank you for enabling me. Thank you for covering me. Thank you allowing me another day to live my life according to your will Lord. Thank you for the holy spirit that lives in me.  I thank you.

Today as I released my soul to you. I couldn’t help but become overjoyed as I thought of your greatness and faithfulness in my life right now. As I prayed this tune escaped from my mouth.

I will Fall,

Fall on my knees,

I will praise thee,

I will worship,

 Be grateful and faithful to you Lord.

I will fall,

Fall on my knees.

Im grateful.

So faithful.

Im thankful.

 I will fall.

Fall on my knees.

 

Thank you Lord.

Thank you.

Love your faithful Daughter Erica Coleman © 2012

Thank God For Second Chances

April 4, 2012
The Second Chance
Ohhh If only I could tell you about all of my Second Chances,
You would be like wow.
Where Im always like How?
My God is amazing.
I’ve been delivered from some of the darkest places, moments
and lifestyles.
My “second chances” were all learning experiences.
I always knew that I was doing something that I wasn’t
supposed to be doing but like any other
human I kept right on doing it.
However, I am a firm believer of once you receive punishment
for doing something wrong once, the only
thing left for you to do is to stop doing it.
Second Chance.
As I shrug my shoulders and shake my head thinking of those
times I’m laughing at the same time.
Who knew. He knew. He knows all things.
He is the Manufacturer of Beautiful and Great things. He
knows that his products will have moments of malfunction, despair and multiple
breakdowns. That’s exactly why he creates a repairman for all of us.
Second Chances.
As I think of my son right now when he’s intentionally done something wrong and I ask him why did
you do that? His reply is usually “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I did. I’m sorry ”
I don’t even if he knows that he is always admitting his faults and
asking for a second chance.
Second Chances.
I don’t about you but Im so thankful and grateful for
second chances. I honestly don’t know
what my life would be like without them. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for forgiving me again and again. Thank you for
giving me all those second chances. I want you to know that my downtime allowed
me to be a little more appreciative of all the things that you have given me on
purpose. I want you to know that during my rehabilitation, I made promises to
you to not repeat those actions that were unlike you God. I want you to know
that I value you and respect you for giving me all those second chances. Thank
you Lord. Thank you Jesus. Thank you . Thank you again for allowing me another
chance to live my life on Purpose and according to your will. Thank you. Erica
Coleman ©2012

Enjoy Isaac Carees song "Chances"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLMJ4zb9iW8

Inspired by Whitney

Inspired by Whitney

Today as I watched Whitney Houstons' funeral I kept thinking Wow.

I wonder what people will say about me.

Ever since I was a little girl people would find little things to say about me,

Oh she’s this or oh she’s gonna be that

Oh don’t let me forget the fact that I was skinny, dressed crazy and oh yeah too black.

It wasn’t until I reached a certain age that I began to see beautiful faces of people that looked just liked me

And one of those beautiful faces just so happened to be the beautiful brown skin, nappy, curly haired Whitney.

She was on the cover of a magazine with that beautiful smile with red lip stick, a polka dot skirt and that thing she wore in her hair in the 80s and skinny.

I don’t remember exactly what I said but I found myself thinking Wow. That’s just like me.

I liked polka dots and I was skinny and brown skinned too.

Whitney was the reason I asked for the spiral curled ponytail on top of my nappy hair.

She may have been the inspiration behind me choosing to wear the red and white polka dot skirt with the white shirt in my fifth grade photos.

I know for a fact she was the inspiration behind me wanting to be a model, inside someone’s magazine.

Watching Whitney in the Bodyguard, I wanted to beautiful just like her. I wanted to be on TV one day but I knew I couldn’t sing. I tried my best to hit the high notes like Whitney as a child but God didn’t bless me with that talent.

But it wasn’t until today, that I realized all of the things I adored about Whitney and all of the things I said I wanted to do to be like her, a beautiful brown skinned face just like mine, Have come to pass. Praise God.

I have been that girl inside of magazines, with red lip stick too might I add, I’ve been on the TV screen as a model and I’ve been told that I’ve inspired others through my talents.

Even though my talent hasn’t been displayed as largely as Whitney, I’m still thankful and grateful that I can say, I’ve lived and am currently living my dreams. Thank you Whitney. For inspiring me.

I believe that today, even laying in your casket, you’ve inspired me and that’s to keep moving forward with my dreams so that the legacy I leave for my son and my family will be great and I wont have to wonder what they’ll say about me.

Rest in Peace Whitney. Thank you again for inspiring Me

Erica Coleman ©2012