Thank God For Second Chances

April 4, 2012
The Second Chance
Ohhh If only I could tell you about all of my Second Chances,
You would be like wow.
Where Im always like How?
My God is amazing.
I’ve been delivered from some of the darkest places, moments
and lifestyles.
My “second chances” were all learning experiences.
I always knew that I was doing something that I wasn’t
supposed to be doing but like any other
human I kept right on doing it.
However, I am a firm believer of once you receive punishment
for doing something wrong once, the only
thing left for you to do is to stop doing it.
Second Chance.
As I shrug my shoulders and shake my head thinking of those
times I’m laughing at the same time.
Who knew. He knew. He knows all things.
He is the Manufacturer of Beautiful and Great things. He
knows that his products will have moments of malfunction, despair and multiple
breakdowns. That’s exactly why he creates a repairman for all of us.
Second Chances.
As I think of my son right now when he’s intentionally done something wrong and I ask him why did
you do that? His reply is usually “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I did. I’m sorry ”
I don’t even if he knows that he is always admitting his faults and
asking for a second chance.
Second Chances.
I don’t about you but Im so thankful and grateful for
second chances. I honestly don’t know
what my life would be like without them. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for forgiving me again and again. Thank you for
giving me all those second chances. I want you to know that my downtime allowed
me to be a little more appreciative of all the things that you have given me on
purpose. I want you to know that during my rehabilitation, I made promises to
you to not repeat those actions that were unlike you God. I want you to know
that I value you and respect you for giving me all those second chances. Thank
you Lord. Thank you Jesus. Thank you . Thank you again for allowing me another
chance to live my life on Purpose and according to your will. Thank you. Erica
Coleman ©2012

Enjoy Isaac Carees song "Chances"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLMJ4zb9iW8

Inspired by Whitney

Inspired by Whitney

Today as I watched Whitney Houstons' funeral I kept thinking Wow.

I wonder what people will say about me.

Ever since I was a little girl people would find little things to say about me,

Oh she’s this or oh she’s gonna be that

Oh don’t let me forget the fact that I was skinny, dressed crazy and oh yeah too black.

It wasn’t until I reached a certain age that I began to see beautiful faces of people that looked just liked me

And one of those beautiful faces just so happened to be the beautiful brown skin, nappy, curly haired Whitney.

She was on the cover of a magazine with that beautiful smile with red lip stick, a polka dot skirt and that thing she wore in her hair in the 80s and skinny.

I don’t remember exactly what I said but I found myself thinking Wow. That’s just like me.

I liked polka dots and I was skinny and brown skinned too.

Whitney was the reason I asked for the spiral curled ponytail on top of my nappy hair.

She may have been the inspiration behind me choosing to wear the red and white polka dot skirt with the white shirt in my fifth grade photos.

I know for a fact she was the inspiration behind me wanting to be a model, inside someone’s magazine.

Watching Whitney in the Bodyguard, I wanted to beautiful just like her. I wanted to be on TV one day but I knew I couldn’t sing. I tried my best to hit the high notes like Whitney as a child but God didn’t bless me with that talent.

But it wasn’t until today, that I realized all of the things I adored about Whitney and all of the things I said I wanted to do to be like her, a beautiful brown skinned face just like mine, Have come to pass. Praise God.

I have been that girl inside of magazines, with red lip stick too might I add, I’ve been on the TV screen as a model and I’ve been told that I’ve inspired others through my talents.

Even though my talent hasn’t been displayed as largely as Whitney, I’m still thankful and grateful that I can say, I’ve lived and am currently living my dreams. Thank you Whitney. For inspiring me.

I believe that today, even laying in your casket, you’ve inspired me and that’s to keep moving forward with my dreams so that the legacy I leave for my son and my family will be great and I wont have to wonder what they’ll say about me.

Rest in Peace Whitney. Thank you again for inspiring Me

Erica Coleman ©2012

When you're down, Take a Walk

When you think about life. Look at as if your taking a long walk, with no destination. Its ok to cry about getting wet in the rain, because the sun will eventually come out to dry you off.

When you encounter strange things and people feel free to laugh. Hell, they just might think you're strange too because you're walking alone,smiling at them for no reason.

Life or "the walk" can take u many places, good and bad. But one thing is promised.

Memories.

Now i'm warning you not to carry so much baggage because that will only slow you down. Its way better to carry less and walk freely because you don't know where you're going.

So go ahead and release all your doubts & precautions about life, I mean "the walk." It may be dark now, but daylight has to come soon.

Be prepared to smile when the sun comes, rest when the sun sets, and sleep while the moon is lit.

"Life", I mean the rest of your walk awaits your awakening and memories to come the next day.

The great ones Endureth to the end.

Written by Erica Coleman for u.

Enjoy the journey

copyright@Erica Coleman (c) 2012

My Letters to God

Sometime in 2003 I started a series of letters to GOD. I would sit at my computer and write whatever was on my mind from time to time. Just as a release for the most part. GOD is my friend. The only friend that I can truly say knows all of my secrets, because Ive asked for forgiveness alot in these letters. Don't judge me:)

Furthermore, I haven't written one in a few years, especially after my computer was stolen. Now that I feel I need to get back to releasing things directly to the source, Im going to do it this way. Here we go:

February 26, 2012

As the days pass, I realize that my life is really starting to blossom. For the most part , I can honestly say that Im happy but there are still some areas that I can’t help but get emotional about. A lot of things have been revealed to me, some for the good and some bad. I feel that now is the time to continue to release. Release thoughts, feelings and more importantly people. Everyone is not your cheerleader. Most of the people that I thought would be rooting for me, I can’t even hear on the sidelines period.

“The silent messages that I receive are the ones that mean the most to me.” Sometimes I find it strange how I can walk into a room and feel the thoughts. I mean I can honestly feel how people feel about me as if they are speaking directly to me. This is weird I know but I’m glad for the gift.

One of things that was hardest to let go of finally hurt me enough to let go. The memories are still there which get me through most of my days but its hard as well.

My life at this point is good. I’m moving forward. DJ’s moving forward. We’re moving forward and Im praying that this cycle of my life continues.

The sun shines brightly everyday.

Sometimes it’s so bright I can’t see.These are the days I find myself thinking a lot.Thinking a lot about my life and what will become of me. One morning as we walked outside at 7:15 a.m. the moon was still out,

D.J. screamed “Hey, it’s morningtime! You’re not supposed to be there.”

I looked up at the full moon and said,” What?”

He said “Mommy, it’s morningtime. The moon is not supposed to be there.”

I laughed and said you’re right. That day as I shared my story with everyone that I encountered, most of the replies were”Wow. He’s smart.” I smiled and said “yeah, thats my DJ.”

That’s kind of how I feel about my life. “Wow. How did I get here?” I guess my hard work and dedication has finally paid off.

The month of January was so pleasant yet stressful. I was moving so much that I stopped paying attention to the days. A lady at my office said that’s what happens when you’re “famous” you don’t stop moving. I still laugh at the comment because, I’m not famous but its always nice when people see star quality in you.

I’m rambling on I know. But I’m happy.Happy with the moments. Happy that my life has started with GOD as the center and coach of my days.

Its funny how life happens, who would have thought that Erica the girl that loved “music” so much wouldn’t know the words to any of the popular songs. Instead my head is now filled with songs of praise and worship throughout the day. I now reference bible verses when I need guidance. It was only less than a year ago that I prayed to allow my mind to be receptive to the word and teachings of the bible.

Thank God I’m healed and delivered. Things that once meant so much have little to no more meaning. I’m still praying though. Praying daily for my life.

Tonight when DJ called me to say his prayers with him, he said mommy don’t say it, I can say them by myself. And he did. I love my son with all my heart. That’s something that I will continue to be proud of everyday. I made the right choice. Praise God.

Grateful to be enabled. Erica Coleman © 2012

I'm Back

Hey Everyone,

I know it's been a while. But I've been working. Working on the new ME :) Well not quite, I still look, act and dress the same. The only thing Ive added to my swag is the new title of Author! It's official. I did IT. I am now a published Author. And guess what? People are actually reading my stuff. "Dying to Be Loved" By Erica Coleman is here.

WHY? The question everyone wants to know the answer to.....

“God you said you’d always be here for me. I’ve been spending all my time praying and asking you guidance and this is how you repay me. How dare you make a believer out of me! How dare you allow me to praise you daily when I could have been leading myself. I can’t believe you allowed me to do this.
I can’t believe you. How can I ever trust in you again. From now on when I am in need it will not be your name that I will call. I promise you that I will seek guidance from within and since you are no longer a part of me. I’ll lead me. I’ll trust me. I’ll do me regardless. We are no longer one. I don’t know you and you never knew me. I..I…I hate you!” –passage from “How dare you make a believer out of me?” by Erica Coleman ©2010

Everyday we are faced with different challenges in which we look to others for help, advice and sometimes compassion. Have you ever thought about how life would be without people? Without a higher power in which you put all your trust and beliefs in?

Today I asked my family and friends to assist me with coming up with a new blog idea. I asked them to send me 3 words or topics that I would be able to write about. In doing so my mom sent me these 3 words : betrayal, loyalty, power.

Have you ever thought about the decisions that you make affecting those around you? Well if you are a member of a family that loves you, respects you and believes in you as a person you would think that one would always keep their families best interest at heart. You would think that if not but to uphold your families name you would do GREAT things to keep your foundation solid.

However, we were all created as individuals in which the decisions we make are usually very selfish. We tend to think more about the “me” factor versus we. In doing so, others get hurt both knowingly and unknowingly.

The character from the passage above was faced with a decision in which she chose to use her power as a women to seduce a man that she was very attracted to. This man never acknowledged her presence. Never pursued her in any kind of way. But she decided that she wanted him and would use everything in her power to get him. She spent months lusting after him until one day he decided to give in to her pursuit and go out to dinner with her. After dinner she wanted him in her bed so bad that she was willing to do whatever it took to get him there. Needless to say he agreed.

Six months later at her annual checkup she found out that she had AIDS. Filled with shock and disbelief she left the doctor’s office and never uttered another word about the information that she had been given.

After several months of being in denial she decided that she wanted to do something about it. She was going to strike hard and fast. She no longer had a good reason to live. She felt that everything that she had earned at this point in her life meant nothing. She didn’t care about her family or friends. What would they think if they knew the truth?

With nothing to lose, she set out to destroy other families, hopes, dreams and lives. Blaming all of her problems on people and GOD.

Why are we as human beings so quick to blame everyone but ourselves?
Why is that when we are faced with challenges and the outcome isn’t favorable we choose to duck and run?
Why is it so hard to live a good life in today’s society without being victimized?
Why do people question God whenever something in life doesn’t work in their favor?

If you know Why please share your answers with me?

Today has been a very frustrating day filled with lots of Why’s for me. But I wanted to write something real and true. Sorry if this offends you.

Toodles,
Alex not Plastic ©2011

Learning to Kiss isn't always blissful...Kissing ain't for everybody

Learning how to kiss is not always blissful
It’s all in the kiss... What does this really mean?
I can remember my first real tongue kiss being the grossest, nastiest thing ever. I was in the 8th grade and his name was Lester. Lester was really cute and had several girls interested in him at the time but for some reason he chose me. I was a little shy back then but hey he was my boyfriend. I had a few boyfriends before him that I would peck on the lips and cheek, but nothing close to what I felt after kissing him.
Lester was a little more advanced than me. He told me that he had kissed a girl before so he knew what he was doing. The night before the “big kiss” we made plans to meet right before sixth hour by the front hall lockers. I was so scared. But at the same time I was so ready to experience what my sister and friends were all talking about.
Right after the 5th period bell rang I slowly walked towards the lockers and I didn’t see him anywhere. I waited for two minutes and then decided to head to class. Right as I was about to turn down the 8th grade hallway, he grabbed me and turned me towards him. I smiled and then out of nowhere he opened his mouth and proceeded to slob all over my mouth. I was totally shocked at how he didn’t notice my mouth was not open. He walked away smiling. I stood in the middle of the hall shocked and trying to wipe all the slobber from my mouth just as the bell for 6th period rang.
When I told my friend that we kissed, she immediately asked me if it was good. I just shrugged my shoulders because I didn’t want to tell her my first kiss was terrible. She proceeded to ask me if I had closed my eyes. I told her no. She laughed and told me that I was supposed to close my eyes and it would feel good.
Eyes open or closed I knew that there was no way that that kiss was going to feel good to me.
Nevertheless, I never kissed Lester again and continued to peck on the lips and cheek where I felt safe.
That kiss ruined my connection with other “boyfriends” well into my late teen years. I would periodically close my eyes and open my mouth. But I couldn’t help but think that my partners would slob on me. I also feared sticking my tongue in their mouth because I didn’t know what to do with it.
Don’t get me wrong I had a couple of ok kissers in between but I never felt a connection when kissing anyone and it may be because I didn’t have my eyes closed or the real spark was never there.
It wasn’t until I was 24 that someone told me that I was not a good kisser. He even tried to teach me. I can remember standing in the hallway and him telling me to keep my mouth open and just go with the flow. He teased me from time to time and told me that I was giving grandma kisses before.
Now for a girl that thought she was hot stuff I knew I would have to conquer this one day.
Unfortunately, the next guy I ran into thought that just sticking his tongue in my mouth was enough! OMG. What a mistake? I realized that this not going to help me conquer my kissing expertise. However, I didn’t shy away I decided that we both needed help so we could practice together.
Eventually, I was the only one practicing, he went back to sticking his tongue pointlessly in mouth and I began to shy away from kissing him altogether.
Now here I am going close to 30 and still hadn’t learned to kiss. UNTIL……..
I met him, first date, first kiss nothing but sparks. I absolutely love kissing him. He was surprised when I told him I was not a kisser. He said that I was a great kisser. The first date we just couldn’t stop kissing. I enjoyed him with my eyes closed, open and even looking into his eyes with no fear.
Now I know many of you would say first date, that’s nasty as I have said it many times before. But if the spark is there it’s there. And I’d been waiting almost 15 years to get it right!
One day while visiting my hairstylist, she noticed that I had a “new bounce”. She asked me if I had something new in my life and I said “Girrlll yes!” She proceeded to ask me all kinds of questions about him and I replied saying nice things of course. Then she asked me about the kiss. At first I raised my eyebrows thinking , “Why is she asking me about this? Has she kissed my boo?” Just kdding.
She asked me if it made me feel tingly inside and below. I immediately said yes, while having flashbacks.
She said that if you kiss a man and he makes you “tingle” then he’s the one for you. I took this tidbit of advice and decided to use it later on that day.
When I did, I got the “tingly” feeling all over again. And my god it is so addictive.
So today after reading an article about kissing and the different meanings and signals it has in a relationship. I decided to write this blog to ask you a few questions and to also be a little noisy and ask about your kissing experiences.
1. Do you believe that kissing has any barrier in a relationship?
2. What does kissing mean to you?
3. Do you believe a relationship can survive without kissing?
4. Share your first/worst or crazy kissing experiences.
Toodles,
Alex not Plastic E.C. ©2011