For Every Girl- Inspired by For Colored Girls movie

Hey Ladies,



I hope all is well. As you can see Im back. Last month I was one of many that watched Tyler Perry's rendition of "For Colored Girls." After reading many reviews, I didn't know what to expect. However, I don't know if I would call this movie GREAT but it was very ENLIGHTNING. There were moments were I found myself laughing, crying, cringing and even covering my eyes. Unfortunately, I felt that I knew each of these characters personally because the effect that the movie had on me did not go away after the movie ended.



While watching the movie I was inspired to write 2 verses in which I would like to share with you today: Enjoy

Victim

Victim

Why?

Is it because of what lies between my thighs

But you cant see the pain that hides behind my smiling eyes.

Victim

I was never my mothers pearl

Just some little girl

With meaningless dreams

Even though it may have seemed that I had everything.

I was just A

Victim

Not by choice

Because I did have a voice

I could have said stop

I know I said stop!

But as I lay in that spot

I lost my voice.

Not by choice.

Victim

Can you see me?

Im beautiful

Or better yet easy on the eyes

Ive been the prize

But the surprise,

Was behind my eyes.

Victim

At times I find myself thinking

So Many

Yet gained so little .

Look at me now people!

Im just A

VICTIM.

Victim of Circumstance

Victim of Chance

Victim of Choice

Victim with a Voice

Victim

Victim

Victim

If you can hear me, will you listen

I dont want to be a victim no more!

I dont want to be a victim no more.

Release me now Please.

Please just release me!

Erica Coleman (c)2010

I Loved you on Purpose

Love the word said most

But Meant the least

I loved you on purpose boy

Not for Things

Not for dreams

Not even for the ring

But I loved you

For just THAT- You!

People used to tell me that love felt like so many things

But I have yet to experience an explainable love,

A love that is so concrete that I can give it meaning.

A love where Im so happy, Im knocked off my feet

Literally.

Thats what made my love for you so unique,

I didnt feel any of these things.

But I loved you on purpose

I said,

"Lord please let me love again."

And he replied,

"Have you ever loved wholeheartedly with no expectations."

Obviously, I didnt know what that means,

I've given the men I loved plenty of things.

My Body

My smile

That gift between my thighs.

and sometimes even my pride.

Cause I wouldnt let no real man See me cry.

No,no, no

I'd even given my joy

To one lucky boy

So yes I've loved

But never with a purpose.

He responded, "well your time is now"

Well I've been waiting and then came you

Not wearing any of the faces that Im used to

Instead you earned my love by just being you

And for that boy

I can honestly say

I love you on purpose

Yes, I wholeheartedly

Love You.

Erica Coleman (c)2010

Ex-Factors:Life situations (1)

"It could all be so simple" "But you'd rather make it hard" -Lauryn Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE-bnWqLqxE&ob=av2n
"Michael I have something to tell you," Angie said happily.
"Yes baby, what is it?" he replied.
"We're PREGNANT!"
Silence....
"Pregnant?" he asked looking away.
"Yes pregnant," she paused to look at him before saying another word. "Michael, I took a test..."
"So what are you going to do?" he shouted.
"What do you mean what am I going to do?" she yelled back. "What are we going to do do? Better yet, there's only one thing for me to do Michael!"
"Oh yeah, what is that?" he asked.
"I'm going to have this baby Michael, with or without you!"
"But you cant do that..."
"Oh yes I can, watch me," she replied leaving the room.

Michael ran after her grabbing her arm forcefully he turned her around. "Oh no you can't" "And you won't."
"Michael you're hurting me" Angie yelled while trying to get away. "I can't believe you. I cant believe you're putting you hands on me."
Michael looked at himself and Angie in the bedroom mirror. He let her go and turned to leave the room.
"What am I gonna do with a baby now? I'm barely taking care of myself?" he mumbled before punching a hole in the wall.
Angie sat in the corner of the bedroom staring at him and crying quietly.
Michael returned to the room to help her up. "Angie, I'm really sorry for grabbing you. I'm just shocked and scared."
"I understand Michael but you scared me because Ive never seen you act this way."
"Baby i just cant have this baby with you right now? "
"What do you mean with me Michael?"
"I didn't mean it that way baby. I mean I just cant have a baby right now"
"Well Michael, it's not like I picked you to father my child. You're no ball player or rich man or anything that I wanted the father of my child to be?"

"Angie you couldve kept that last comment. Its not about you. I just cant having a fucking kid right now and neither can you."

"Well Michael, actually we can and we will because this baby is inside of me and I'm not having an abortion so we're just going to have to deal with it. Better yet, I'll deal with it on my own. You don't have to be apart of my child's life. We're going do fine without you." said Angie as she ran out the front door to her car.
Michael watched her as she sat in the front seat of her crying before pulling off.
Michael returned to his room and punched the door again this time bruising his hand. "Aww shit. I knew I shouldn't have been fucking her without a condom. She was trying to trap me all this time. Damn what am I suppose to tell my family. My father told me not have any kids before marriage. Damn, how could she do this to me. Fuck her. Fuck Her!" he yelled.
"Ma I'm pregnant and I just told Michael and he blew up on me. He said he didn't want to have a baby with me.Can you believe that ? With me? I don't want to have a baby either but I just can't have another abortion."
"Angie, stop crying please," her mom replied. "You'll be okay. He's just scared right now but you two will work it out. "
"Ma I don't believe I want to work it out," she replied. "Me and my baby are going to be just fine." she said before disconnecting the call.
"Yeah we'll be just fine," she said rubbing her belly. "God got us"

And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will -L Hill

This scene is one that is all too familiar amongst young women who become pregnant unexpectedly. As some of you may know I was one of them. Its a very hard and scary situtation and in most cases you can become an Ex-factor. One that is being looked down upon for doing something out of the norm.


So this week I will be creating a few short dialogues, utilizing Lauryn hills Ex-factor lyrics. I chose this song because it has so many interpretations, in which I can create different dialogues using life situations. I need to get back to my craft so please feel free to follow me, comment and advise me along the way.

Toodles
Alex not Plastic
Erica Coleman (c) 2010

Relationship Business: Gotta Main Bish, Gotta Mistress

Take 1

"Excuse Me, Excuse Me"….My name is Treasure. Yes, treasure like the box of hidden jewels that everyone’s searching to find but I’m always hidden in a box somewhere. I’m what many consider the wifey type. I’m educated, financially stable, beautiful and professional. I’m what many call a REAL lady. I cook, clean, work, takes care of the kids and home. I make the big money in my household. I’m the one responsible being the educator, driver and cheerleader for the kids and the sex slave for my man. All of my friends marvel at the fact that I have a man but what they don’t understand is all the hard work it takes to keep this “family” together. It’s my responsibility to love, honor, support and obey. Yes obey, because whatever they need they look to me to provide. I don’t really hang out with my friends anymore because I’m just too tired. I don’t really have a life outside of my “family”. Oh and did I mention that his kids are not mine. But I guess that’s enough of my venting, I have to get back to my full time job until one of them calls for my help…Don’t forget me my name is Treasure but I’m feeling less like my name as the days go by. Is this what the “good life” as a wife is like?

Take 2

“Hello!” My name is Precious. Oh but you knew that anyway didn’t you. I saw you looking at me when I entered the room. I’m used the heads turning, necks popping and mouths dropping. My mother named me Precious because that’s exactly what I am, a mans most prized possession. My men like to treat me to the finer things in life. You know the best of everything. Cars, clothes, shoes, and trips around the world girl. All because I’m beautiful. I love being beautiful because that’s all I have to do. I don’t have any close friends because they just don’t understand my lifestyle. Well my mom doesn’t approve either but hey, I like dating men with wives and girlfriends. Don’t shake your head at me cause there ain’t nothing wrong with slipping in when she’s slipping up. I tend to my men. I laugh at all their stale jokes, listen to their complaints about what’s going on at home and I can’t forget the most important thing I do for them, I’m their personal porn star. My tricks will make any man come back for more treats. As a matter of fact here comes one now so I gotta go. I know you won’t forget about me, I’m precious in every way you can imagine.
My Take on my friends business

Ladies, ladies, ladies, I’ve been told that these are the only two types of women that exist. You can only be the “Main bish or the mistress” because these are the only two components of the relationship business.
One might be thinking relationship business, what is that? Well it’s something that I made up after talking to a friend today. This friend has played both of these roles however, she’s not really happy in her current role as Treasure because she said it requires too much work. I know a lot of women may feel just as she does but relationships are never easy. They kind of remind me of a business transaction, for example:
Upon meeting you get to “Preview” your partner, you like so you make an “offer” if the offer is accepted you celebrate until you get your results from your “Private inspection”. Now this inspection can make or break the relationship in the early stages because this where all the hidden dirt, drama and future problems are revealed. As a buyer you can choose to walk away and lose your deposit or “Continue” with the transaction including all the baggage.

My friend decided to continue on with the transaction as many women do.

Now many may say they don’t like Precious but to be honest you can’t be mad at her. She only goes through the "Preview" and "Celebrate" stage. No contracts or inspections needed because when the dirt and drama are displayed she is free to walk away. Even though it may appear that she’s living the good life, she isn’t. She's lonely surrounded by beautiful things with no one to share her mornings or weekends with. Precious really wants a family. She envisions her life with her beautiful kids and the perfect husband in her downtime. "I really want to be a wife, but for right now I'm living the good life!"

After listening to my friend complain about all the things she has to do for her man and his kids, she admitted that he was sleeping with other women. She continued to complain and then out of nowhere she said, " why don't he ask those bishes, to drop him off, pick up the kids, and do all this other stuff he wants me to do?" "Why do they have it so F'ing easy?"

Wow! Now at first I was LMAO! because this was two shockers in one for me which lead me to write this blog.

So these 2 questions are for you:
(1) Why do mistresses have it so easy?
(2) Which one are you? lol. I dont expect many to answer but......

I don't believe in being a mistress but being the main bish can be overwhelming sometimes :)

Toodles
Alex not Plastic
Erica Coleman (c) 2010

Relationship business: Got a Main Bish, Got a Mistress

Take 1

"Excuse Me, Excuse Me"….My name is Treasure. Yes, treasure like the box of hidden jewels that everyone’s searching to find but I’m always hidden in a box somewhere. I’m what many consider the wifey type. I’m educated, financially stable, beautiful and professional. I’m what many call a REAL lady. I cook, clean, work, takes care of the kids and home. I make the big money in my household. I’m the one responsible being the educator, driver and cheerleader for the kids and the sex slave for my man. All of my friends marvel at the fact that I have a man but what they don’t understand is all the hard work it takes to keep this “family” together. It’s my responsibility to love, honor, support and obey. Yes obey, because whatever they need they look to me to provide. I don’t really hang out with my friends anymore because I’m just too tired. I don’t really have a life outside of my “family”. Oh and did I mention that his kids are not mine. But I guess that’s enough of my venting, I have to get back to my full time job until one of them calls for my help…Don’t forget me my name is Treasure but I’m feeling less like my name as the days go by. Is this what the “good life” as a wife is like?

Take 2

“Hello!” My name is Precious. Oh but you knew that anyway didn’t you. I saw you looking at me when I entered the room. I’m used the heads turning, necks popping and mouths dropping. My mother named me Precious because that’s exactly what I am, a mans most prized possession. My men like to treat me to the finer things in life. You know the best of everything. Cars, clothes, shoes, and trips around the world girl. All because I’m beautiful. I love being beautiful because that’s all I have to do. I don’t have any close friends because they just don’t understand my lifestyle. Well my mom doesn’t approve either but hey, I like dating men with wives and girlfriends. Don’t shake your head at me cause there ain’t nothing wrong with slipping in when she’s slipping up. I tend to my men. I laugh at all their stale jokes, listen to their complaints about what’s going on at home and I can’t forget the most important thing I do for them, I’m their personal porn star. My tricks will make any man come back for more treats. As a matter of fact here comes one now so I gotta go. I know you won’t forget about me, I’m precious in every way you can imagine.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, I’ve been told that these are the only two types of women that exist. You can only be the “Main piece or the mistress” because these are the only two components of the relationship business.
One might be thinking relationship business, what is that? Well it’s something that I made up after talking to a friend today. This friend has played both of these roles however, she’s not really happy in her current role as Treasure because she said it requires too much work. I know a lot of women may feel just as she does but relationships are never easy. They kind of remind me of a business transaction, for example:
Upon meeting you get to “Preview” your partner, you like so you make an “offer” if the offer is accepted you celebrate until you get your results from your “Private inspection”. Now this inspection can make or break the relationship in the early stages because this where all the hidden dirt, drama and future problems are revealed. As a buyer you can choose to walk away and lose your deposit or “Continue” with the transaction including all the baggage.

My friend decided to continue on with the transaction as many women do.

Now many may say, "I don’t like Precious," but to be honest you can’t be mad at her. She only goes through the "Preview" and "Celebrate" stage. No contract or inspection needed because when the dirt and drama are displayed she is free to walk away. Even though it may appear that she’s living the good life, she isn’t. She's lonely surrounded by beautiful things with no one to share her mornings or weekends with. Precious really wants a family. She envisions her life with her beautiful kids and the perfect husband in her downtime. "I really want to be a wife, but for right now I'm living the good life!"

After listening to my friend complain about all the things she has to do for her man and his kids, she admitted that he was sleeping with other women. She continued to complain and then out of nowhere she said, " why don't he ask those bishes, to drop him off, pick up the kids, and do all this other stuff he wants me to do?" "Why do they have it so F'ing easy?"

Wow! Now at first I was LMAO! because this was two shockers in one for me which lead me to write this blog.

So these 2 questions are for you:
(1) Why do mistresses have it so easy?
(2) Which one are you? lol. I dont expect many to answer but......

I don't believe in being a mistress but being the main bish can be overwhelming sometimes :)

Toodles
Alex not Plastic
Erica Coleman (c) 2010

Refocusing on Growth!

“Look back at it for what , the future looks so much brighter!”-Erica C.

As I sit here today, my mind is reciting these lines over and over. “Look back at it! Look back at it! Look back at IT!” I finally decided to press STOP!!!
I can’t and I won’t look at the challenges of my past. I’ve made it through them. I may have even tripped and fell again but I got back up with less bruises this time. The only thing I want to review from my past would be the step right before I made it to the finish line each time, followed by the praises to God right after I crossed over.

I just read this articled entitled “Grow yourself, to grow your wealth,”. This article spoke to me because I have been that person that would look at others and ask “What did they do to get to that level of wealth and why am I not there yet?”

I have been a “worker” since I was 14 years old. At this age I got my first summer job in which the pay was very little and the job was fair, but even at this point in my life I wanted the higher job, that being the job where the kids got to wear the yellow shirts and everyone knew their position. That position gave them “status” and recognition which to me meant a form of success. I never got that job but I continued to work during the summers and from what I can remember all of my managers said I was one of the best workers that had each year.

At the age of 15, I began working for Burger King. Yes, my first real job. It didn’t take long for the managers to recognize me as one of the best. This was the job that made me want more out of life. I knew that this was the only job I could have at the time but I knew I was not meant to be a “worker”. Over the next 10 years, I held the titles of cashier, waitress, and administrative assistant, medical biller, intern, host, assistant and customer service representative and co-author but still none of them defined me5d.
Until now, where almost 3 years ago I decided that I would utilize all of my past skills to start working for myself as a Realtor or real estate agent. Boy oh boy, this has not been easy. By choosing this position I knew that I would be AT RISK upon entering because the state of the economy has not been good for real estate. I’ve encountered several ups and downs on the financial side but throughout the process, I’ve come to the realization that I love doing this but I’m ready to reach the next level on the financial side.

In the article, “Grow yourself to grow your wealth”, the author states
“Being willing to take a risk doesn’t necessarily mean being willing to lose. By doing your research, you can make educated decisions on solid information. The key is to do it in as short a time as possible and then go for it or quit whining about it!”
As positive as I mean seem to others, for the last 4 months I’ve been a whiner. I find myself crying over the deals that didn’t go through or the buyers that have wasted my time. In doing this, I’ve have not only lost focus on what I can be doing to better my business and relationships, but I stopped myself from growing in the process. My focus has not been on helping the people as it was when I’ve first started the business instead it has been on the lack of money. I’ve started reacting to my problems instead of taking new actions that will better my business.
Two weeks ago I vowed to quit and started applying for “jobs” in which I knew I didn’t want but this was my reaction to not having any money. However, my heart nor mind were fully convinced that this is what I wanted so I haven’t received a call back from those positions in which I applied but I’m fine with it.
GROWTH! GROWTH! GROWTH. FROM this day forward I will repeat this chant in my head until I get to the next level/my future. I’m releasing the thoughts of my lack of finances and replacing them with thoughts of growth in my finances. I’m releasing my thoughts of working with no purpose to focusing on my purpose helping people in these hard times find homes while creating an opportunity for me to meet new clients to make more money. Grow, create, focus and help will be the primary focus in my business practices from today forward!
Eker states:
Take action now:
Consider a situation or project you’ve wanted to start. Whatever you’ve been waiting for, forget it. Begin now from wherever you are with whatever you’ve got.
Practice optimism. Today, whatever anyone says is a problem or an obstacle, reframe it into an opportunity.
Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have. If you don’t appreciate what you’ve got, you won’t get any more.
Remember this: Your wealth can only grow to the extent that you do.
I’m growing and so should YOU!!
Alex not Plastic
© 2010 Erica Coleman

Kiss

Kiss
Kiss Me
Yes Kiss Me
Nice and Slowly
Kiss Me
Let me
Savor the moment
Let me feel it
Through you
Kiss Me
Grab me
Hold me
Let me
Let you
Kiss my sweets
Taste the sweetness
Explore the Wetness
Feel the softness
Kiss IT
Yes Kiss it
Let me
Enjoy those lips
Those passionate
Soft
Wet
Lips
Kiss me
Yes Kiss me into a soulful bliss
Can you
Please
Kiss
It

Let Go

Let Go.
In letting go I find myself thinking.
Thinking about my past , thinking about my future.
Thinking about the shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Thinking about where I am and where I was.
Wow. Is all I can say.
Who woulda thought that this girl raised by drug dealer parents would have made it this far.
Who would have thought that the girl that was teased as a child and often played alone would be the woman that I am today.
Wow.
When I was in college I remember writing a paper about refusing to follow the cycle of my neighborhood.
But in a way I’m glad I came from where I came from because it has kept me grounded. It has given me an edge over most of the “privileged” because I don’t know what its like to not struggle I just know about keeping up and maintaining.
When most people first meet me, they only see the “Good Erica” in which they believe I have no struggles but I know better and I’m glad that I know God.
He has been so good to me. He has made a way out of no way on numerous occasions and I’m not just saying this. I’ve been through this and am currently going through this.
My god. Yes my God. I love him. He helps me let go. He helps me breathe when I feel I’m out of breath. He helps me speak when I have no words. He lets me be free to be me, his daughter. I have so much faith in him which in turn means that I have so much faith in myself.
Wow.
I sometimes wonder how did I get to this point in my life where I really have no worries. I have a God given debt free home. I have a career, in which Im not making that much money yet, but I know he guides me. I have a beautiful, vibrant son that I love so much. I call him God’s gift. I love him. He makes me smile. He makes me want to do better. He makes me want more. I love him.
Wow. I’m a mommy. I’m DJ’s mom.
I needed to let go so this is the reason I’m writing this way. I need to let go so that I can get started.
Wow.

Love Erica ©2009

Leaving it behind

Hi Ladies,
This is an old one that I found and wanted to share.

Leaving it Behind
Erica
Is holding on to something I need to let go of…..
I’m battling the spirits of wanting whats in the natural but anticipating whats destined for me in the supernatural,
I’m asking God to Send me something that I want
but can’t let go of what I don’t want.
My old self is telling me to say F It..Next!
But my caring self is telling me that its going to get better and be more than sex.
I used to talk about girls like me
You know the ones that tell you about how bad everything is but don’t want to leave
Hoping that this thing they cant let go of will turn into that DREAM
Yeah Dream because dreams are always better than reality.
My mom thinks that I’m crazy or better yet Depressed
But Girlfriend let me tell you
I’m better now then I used to be.
I refuse to wear that Dress.
You know what? As I think about,
Its really time to let go.
Let loose
Because I could be giving my goods to somebody worthy.
My goods meaning my time,
My thoughts
My loving acts of kindness
Fuck It!
Just Fuck IT!
I’m giving up!
But not on Love

Erica C. aka Alex not plastic ©2010